Handling death

As a DM I generally bring characters to the point of death for two main reasons:
1. The players were being unnecessarily negligent with their character’s lives.
2. It serves the story being told.

In the first case I shall try to make it an educational experience. You took a stupid or reckless risk and sadly you have paid for it. It generally has to be an act of spectacular dumb-fuckery by players for me to do this.
Note that I said – to the point of death. Good, creative and redeeming play can turn this around.

In the second case I try to achieve a good death, an opportunity for the character to be a real hero.
To kill a character for reasons of story is a very serious step to take. Where I have done this I have generally talked it through with the player before the session and got their cooperation. In a few cases we have plotted this arc together from the beginning.
Such a death must be necessary for the story, though this may not be clear at that point to the other players. As the plot unfolds they may discover this later and it must make sense to them.
A foretelling can also be a good way to manage this. The character has been given a slow-acting poison, or been cursed, or a seer/witch has foretold of their death, and the story follows the party’s journey trying to prevent, to understand or to avenge this.

There is a third path as well. Sometimes players will sacrifice their characters themselves. Such as the classic “I’ll hold them off for as long as I can to help you escape/succeed/survive”.
This is a good death, a worthwhile death, and one they chose. Make your antagonists pay for the character’s death in blood and treasure, and make it memorable. I call this ‘being Horatio on the bridge’.

Killing a character just because you can, or because the dice rolled that way, or to darken the plot, or by introducing unknown enemy abilities by surprise, is not concluding that character’s story arc well.
It is stealing the player’s enjoyment and reducing their commitment to your story.

Footnote: I have not discussed a situation where the party has either the ability or the resources to bring their comrade back from death. If they do have this then the character has not died, you have just used up some party resources.
Well, you can be a bastard and deny them the body for story reasons. He tumbled into a deep chasm, she was disintegrated and the powder blew off into the wind, or the enemy’s minions dragged the body away.
Thus the party has to work to restore their comrade to life, and we have a side quest.
While they are at this, have a chat with the dead character’s player. Do they actually want the character to come back? The player might consider it to have been a satisfactory end for the character, and are willing to bring in a new one. After all, in game terms, the character’s spirit can refuse to be raised.